Back Where I Come From

''I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. ''

Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust
A little less time for the rest of the world
And more for the two of us
Kisses each morning, I love you's at night
Just like it used to be
The way life was when you were in love with me

~Rodney Atkins: Honesty

How is it that things are always easier to see on the outside? It’s always easier to give advice than to apply others’ guidance to your life. I mean you think that something is a certain way and you feel a certain way about it, but if other people can open your eyes and mention things in a different perspective, do you really feel the way you think you did? Or do you just feel a certain way because it’s more convenient? Your attitude determines your living. Should you try to fight for the feelings that make you vulnerable, even if you are uncertain that your efforts will be acknowledged and given back in return? Or should you succumb to the fact that you have possibly made things seem what they are not and that your efforts are meaningless? When someone can sit there and tell you what all they have experienced and it makes you suddenly question that you don’t know anything, do you? Or what if what you know is something so rare and wonderful that it’s not worth even explaining and that you should cherish the fact you are a lucky person to know what you do…
I like to think that I know something different and that not everyone is lucky enough to find it in their lifetime. If it is questioned many times over, and you can still come to the same conclusion, it has to mean something. Everyone has doubts about things they are almost sure of, but when the doubts are no longer questioned and your feelings remain the same underneath it all, then maybe you DO know something. It’s up to you not to take things for granted…

Theres something that i cant quite explain
i'm so in love with you
youll never take that away
and if i said a hundred times before
expect a thousand more
you never take that away
well expect me to be
calling you to see
if your ok when i'm not around
asking if you love me
i love the way you make it sound
calling you to see
do i try to hard to make you smile
to make a smile

and i will be calling you to see
if your sleepin are you dreamin
if your dreamin are you dreamin of me
i cant believe
you actually picked...me
i thought that the world had lost its sway
(its so hard sometimes)
then i fell in love with you
(then came you)
and you took that way
(its not so difficult)
you take away the old
show me the new
and i feel like i can fly
when i stand next to you
so what if on this phone
a hundred miles from home
i take the words you gave
and send them back to you

i only want to see
if your ok when i'm not around
asking if you love me
i love the way you make it sound
calling you to see
do i try to hard to make you smile
to make a smile
and i will be calling you to see
if your sleepin are you dreamin
if your dreamin are you dreamin of me
i cant believe
you actually picked...me

well i will be calling you to see
if your sleepin are you dreamin
if your dreamin are you dreamin of me
i cant believe
you actually picked...me

i will be calling you to see
if your sleepin are you dreamin
if your dreamin are you dreamin of me
i cant believe
you actually picked...me

~Blue October- Calling you

So I'm all moved in and finally unpacked! Such a great feeling... I haven't really been up to much lately, just stopping in and saying hello to old friends and chit-chatting and stuff. I should start working next week, but I'm still waiting to hear from my boss as to when he wants me to start work. It's been soooo nice not having to worry about school or anything for this past week. My freshman year is completley over with! It's so hard to believe that ANOTHER year has gone by. But yeah, I don't really have a lot to say... I'm home for the summer and I'm glad. We'll see how long I keep up with this thing...

In your arms I can still feel the way you
want me when you hold me
I can still hear the words you whispered
when you told me
I can stay right here forever in your arms

And there ain't no way--
I'm lettin' you go now
And there ain't no way--
and there ain't no how
I'll never see that day....

'Cause I'm keeping you
forever and for always
We will be together all of our day
Wanna wake up every
morning to your sweet face--always

Mmmm, baby
In your heart--I can still hear
a beat for every time you kiss me
And when we're apart,
I know how much you miss me
I can feel your love for me in your heart

And there ain't no way--
I'm lettin' you go now
And there ain't now way--
and there ain't no how
I'll never see that day....

I wanna wake up every morning

In your eyes--
I can still see the look of the one who really loves me
The one who wouldn't put anything else in the world above me
I can still see love for me in your eyes

And there ain't no way--
I'm lettin' you go now
And there ain't no way--
and there ain't no how
I'll never see that day....

I'm keeping you forever and for always
I'm in your arms

Okay, I know I am supposed to be studying for my finals, right? The thing is, well... ok so I don't have a good excuse for procrastinating. I just realized that I hardly ever write in this. I mean, I was pretty good about it at first, but here lately it's a once a week type thing. Ah well... I have been pretty busy lately actually. Some of my friends got a house here in town and we have been over there like everyday since then. It's a good change of scenery, and very nice to get out of the dorms. It's also been great not having classes, wow. Just to know that I'm still up here, no classes, no parents or other major obligations... what a great feeling. It’s like I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I am also in the process of packing up my room. I know I complain about these damn dorms all the time, but you know what? It's kind of sad as I put all my belongings away and take things down. Why you ask? I couldn't really tell you. I think it's just because of the many good memories that I have made here these past two semesters, and the fact that I'll be closing another door in my life to open a new, unfamiliar door next semester moving into my apartment. Oh well, right? "The easiest thing in the world would be to repeat the same equations that worked for us in the past, but with repetition would come demise."
I suppose I have intentionally distracted myself for enough time at the moment. I should really get back to studying for Chemistry on Friday. Good luck to everyone who is taking finals this week and next. To the class of 2002… we made it through our first year already! Can you believe it!?! Study hard and I’ll see you guys this summer, and to my Friends at Tech… see you in the fall! Be well…

So I was thinking it's been a while since I have written in this thing. Not too many exciting things going on, just the same ‘ol... you know how that goes. Lately I have just been thinking about summer plans, and winding down the school year. As of today (or tonight rather) I have 4 more days of school left- yaaay! I only have to take 3 finals too, so I'm pretty excited about that. My parents told me today that we are going to be taking a trip to the Caribbean in the beginning of August, so that practically made my day :) I haven't really been on a real trip since Cancun for my Sr trip, so I have this to look forward to all summer now!
I finally for registered for Summer school at good 'ol TC yesterday. I will be going to school everyday of the week except for Friday, and working everyday and every other Saturday for sure as well, so yeah... I won't have a whole lot of free time this summer :( Oh well, I would rather be too busy than have nothing to do and be bored off my ass. I have had summers like that... where you just sit around and have absolutely nothing to do. Trust me, not a good thing when you are actually looking forward to going back to school! I doubt very seriously that will be the case for me this summer.
So that's pretty much what has been on my mind the past couple of days…just getting things in order for school to end and packing up to move back home for a few months. I'm really ready to get out of here. Not because I don't like it here, it's not that at all. I just miss home still and it doesn't help when you live in the dorms. I have already bitched about that in another entry, so I won't go there again. I will defiantly miss many things about Lubbock though, especially one person in particular.
Well that’s all I have for now I suppose. I need to get some sleep because I need to make my Chemistry class tomorrow morning that I have failed to go to in about a week now. Yeah yeah, I know… I need to go to class, but trust me… if you were in my situation you probably wouldn’t go either. I have basically given up in that class. I mean I bust my ass, go to tutoring, study for endless hours for a test and make the same grade when I only study for an hour or so. So yeah, all that is left is the final exam in there and I’m just thinking I’m going to wing it. I mean I’ll study, yeah, but not like I did for the last test. Screw that. All righty, enough venting! Goodnight!